Dear Sir/Madam, please don’t hire me.

There’s plenty of advice out there about what not to do on your first date. So we all know asking “How many kids do you want to have?” is a bad idea. Unfortunately, not a lot of people—and not just freshers—seem to have any idea about what not to do when applying for a job. Over the years, I’ve hired for roles in training, marketing, customer service, content and design, and see applicants making the same mistakes again and again.

Here are things to avoid the next time you apply for a job.

Dear Sir/Madam…

Would you sign off an email with “Your obedient servant”? Then why would you begin one with “Dear Sir/Madam”? Salutations such as these are relics of the colonial era. It’s best to open your email by addressing your recruiter/hiring manager by name. Finding this name isn’t difficult, especially if you are applying through a portal like LinkedIn. If you can’t find their name, open with a simple, “Hello”. That is a friendly, yet perfectly acceptable, opening for a formal setting, much like business casuals are as an attire.

The Boilerplate Resume

One time, I was hiring writers and the feelers I’d put out clearly mentioned the role title and description. I’d even included a line that said ‘If you don’t fit the role to a T, but would like to give it a shot, tell us why and knock our socks off.’ Yet, the number of boilerplate resumes I got from software testers and sales professionals for this role was astounding. It is frustrating for hiring managers to know that you don’t care enough to tweak your resume or write a few lines on why you’re keen on the role.

Every brand has a distinctive tone of voice and this is usually reflected in their recruitment listings as well. Try and mimic this voice/tone in your covering letter—if the firm is funny, be funny; if they are formal, be formal. This is a subtle way of letting them know that you’re listening and you’re a good fit.

Objective? No, thanks.

A lot of candidates still open their resume with a 2-3 line objective. And most of the time, what’s said here is so generic as to be pointless! Your objective (right now at least) is to get this job. Most hiring managers I know just skip this part and move to your work experience.

A statement of purpose inside your resume isn’t just an outdated practice, but it also takes up valuable space that you could use to talk about more important things (like your professional achievements, learning, or skills). However, if you do have something specific and meaningful to say that you want your prospective employer to know, put it in your covering letter.

Dis is nt gud

The other day, a candidate wrote to me asking for more information about the JD I had shared and the email went something like this: “Hey, cud u fwd me the link to d website? i want to kno more about the role.”

I replied with “Gr8! here u go.” but I suspect the sarcasm was lost on him.

SMS slang is not acceptable in any formal context. It makes you come across as juvenile or careless, and these can be real turn-offs for hiring managers. So take those few extra minutes to compose full sentences!

You’re awesome. But where’s the proof?

How does a potential employer know that you are a good writer or designer or social media strategist? Sure, you could tell them, but it’s even better if you show them. Which is why it is ALWAYS a good idea to share your portfolio or work samples along with your resume. Not only does this make a great impression, it also speeds up the process. Because if you send this proactively, they don’t have to write back asking for one.

This rule applies to a surprising number of job profiles: writers, designers, photographers, visual merchandisers, product managers, social media managers, developers, etc. If you don’t have a portfolio yet, make one. Even a simple document summarizing the top 5 projects you’ve worked on with relevant links will make a difference.

What makes email marketing work?

Brand, Emails

For over 3 years, I was ‘the newsletter lady’ at Urban Ladder, writing and working with the design and marketing teams to put out a daily mailer for our 1 million-strong subscriber base. In an era where promotional mails are treated as spam, we managed to capture hearts with our content. This is a behind-the-scenes look from my time running these mailers. First published here on Adgully.

None of us like being cold-called. Or shown ads we can’t skip. Or accosted outside supermarkets and dentist’s offices to be handed flyers. Most promotional email is no different. It’s intrusive, annoying, and rarely offers anything of value. So when we started the Urban Ladder newsletter back in 2013, we set ourselves a lofty goal. To create email that people actually look forward to.

Today, our reader base is one million strong and our unsubscribe rate less than half of the industry average. And we are possibly one of the few brands in India whose email newsletters are widely read, loved, and Tweeted about regularly.

Screen Shot 2018-04-10 at 4.09.25 PM

We are often approached by other organizations who want to know the ‘secret sauce’ behind our emails. Frankly, there is none. There is, however, an entire team of analysts, writers, and designers who work behind the scenes to learn more about our readers every day, create useful and interesting content for them, and keep the engine fuelled and running.

During a recent lunchtime discussion, this question cropped up again and the entire team weighed in with their views of what makes our newsletters tick. There were many specifics, but at the core of it all, we recognized two things – a concerted effort to understand our readers more and more deeply, and an unwavering commitment to do right by them no matter what

So, for the first time ever, we are putting down on paper the guiding principles behind our newsletters (and as we write these, we realize that they apply to practically all our communication, online and offline) in the hope that they help other brands and content strategists.

Rule #1: We recognize our readers for who they are.

We don’t see our readers as nameless, faceless entities that ‘consume content’. To us, they are who they are–real people who lead real lives. Who have good days and bad days. Who dread Mondays and tiresome commutes and long meetings. Who love TV shows, follow the IPL, love the scent of new books, and look forward to a cup of adraki chai when it’s raining outside.

So when we sit down to write our stories, we speak to them directly, using words and examples that resonate with them, be it familiar everyday experiences, pop culture references, or contemporary slang.

We also recognize that while we do design good looking furniture, it is our customers that take these and create gorgeous spaces around them. Which is why we make a conscious effort to shining the spotlight away from us and onto our customers’ lives and spaces. Celebrating their moments and their creativity is our way of showing them just how big a role they play in our scheme of things.

Rule #2: We try to be helpful. Or interesting. Often, both.

So you’re trying to sell something. (Who isn’t, these days!) But can you do that in a way that does not annoy the reader? This is a question we ask ourselves every time we set out to create a newsletter.

Say, for instance, we are trying to sell seating. We could slap on its price and a big CTA button that says ‘Buy Now’. But we could also do this. Or this.

By turning to humour and weaving stories around our products, we elicit chuckles and find a place in our readers’ minds. The next time we email them, they will still open our newsletter even if they don’t want to buy furniture, just to see what story we are spinning today. They, in turn, have become willing brand ambassadors, spreading the word about us and sharing the content we put out for the sheer joy of it.

Rule #3: We are honest and transparent.

We remind ourselves every day that our readers choose to remain engaged with us and that we must never take this for granted. Which is why when we make mistakes, we apologize openly and make amends, be it publishing an incorrect price or a quip that causes offence.

If we know our prices are increasing, we give our subscribers an early heads up, to help them proceed with planned purchases. When we mention terms and conditions, we put them upfront, in easy-to-understand language, so that they never have to squint to read the fine print or squirm to understand it. All of this works together to build trust.

There are no magic pills–but the right decisions can work magic.

While designing communication strategies, be it for email or for something else, the tendency of most brand and communication professionals is to look outside for insights. It’s great to research email marketing best practices and subject lines that work, but all of these come later. The place is to start is actually inside. Inside the heart of your brand and your promise to your customers.

Keep experimenting, spend time and effort in understanding your audience, and above all, treat your readers with respect. Because while there’s no perfect email marketing strategy, there is one that is perfect for your brand.

Brand story for Nourish Mantra

Brand

Nourish Mantra is a US-based brand that offers vegan, paraben-free skin and hair care solutions, made in India using traditional Ayurvedic principles. The brand believes that real beauty comes from real wellness, not just of the body but also of the mind and the soul. They wanted to highlight these principles and beliefs in their story and online platform.

I helped them craft their brand story and the founder’s journey, and wrote the content for the first set of pages for the website, including setting the style and tone of their communication: succinct, honest and warm.